So, we have this corner in our house that we call The Corner from Hell. This corner is where we have, over the past 4-5 (possibly longer) years been putting things that we don't know where else to put every time we did one of our "OK, people are gonna be here in 2 hours - let's clean the whole house!" deals. The result looks something like (or, exactly like) this:
There are literally layers of junk in there - it's almost like counting the number of rings on a tree to see how old it is. The top layer is this past Christmas. Under that, probably last spring's "let's clean this whole house" unfinished adventure. There is probably a layer near the bottom that is comprised entirely of things that belonged to the previous occupants of the house - and I would not be surprised if the bottom layer actually was the previous owners of the house.
But... that corner is a story for another day. That corner scares us - we avoid it like the plague. Today, we addressed The Corner from Hell's cousin, The Foyer from Cleveland - not as bad as Hell, but you wouldn't want to be caught dead there, either. Here's some super-fun pictures of this demonic monstrosity:
And, in order to address The Foyer from Cleveland properly, we needed to address the attached "Closet from Toledo" (again, not as bad as Cleveland, but you get the idea):
I know, I know - you're thinking "what's the problem? This all looks perfectly clean to me!" - and, of course, you'd be correct (if our house had just been the scene of a hurricane beating up a tornado). But call us perfectionists, we thought we could make this foyer look a little bit cleaner. So, we went through this disaster area and threw out stuff we didn't even know why we were holding on to - we got rid of 8 coats neither of us had worn in years, and I literally had saved wrappers from candy that Lauren sent me when she spent a semester in London 8 years ago. And not just one or two - I saved like 15 or 16. And, this was of course made even more sad when I realized I was unconsciously checking to make sure that some didn't have candy in them still (which was both a sad and scary moment for me). The prize of this "treasure hunt", though, was this rogue stick:
Neither of us had ever seen this stick before. We indeed may never know what this stick was used for, nor what potential it had to be so many different things in the years to come, because after a 25 minute discussion, we decided that it too must go. So, after a few hours of work, we had de-Clevelanded the foyer:
Nothing in the foyer that doesn't serve a purpose - and the closet was freed of about 2/3 of it's inhabitants as well. And here's one of the amazing things about this project - our Foyer had been so cluttered for so long that I actually forgot the Winnie the Pooh mat was under there. And I'm sure you're thinking "why do you have a Winnie the Pooh mat in your foyer?". To this, I answer - why doesn't everyone? Think about it - Winnie the Pooh is a gluttonous bear who obsessively and compulsively eats honey (and only honey). His best friends are 1) Tigger, a tiger-esque creature who bounces all over the place and has such a bad case of ADHD that you might need to actually call it ADHHHHHD, 2) Piglet, a squeamish pig so scared of everything he would probably flee in fear if a young infant looked at him oddly, and 3) Eeyore, a manic depressive donkey who constantly loses his own body parts. If Winnie the Pooh is what welcomes you into our home, how could you - no matter what your idiosyncrasies - not be welcome in our house?
Also, as long as Pooh is around, I'm not the most gluttonous being in the house :)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
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